Being Involved

Some of you may know that I've been really ill. Like, proper ill. I'm only just starting to leave the house again after a few weeks stuck indoors, in hospital, in an ambulance, in the operating theatre. It's been so bad, I never thought it would happen to someone like me, I thought illnesses happened to lazy or unhealthy people, I thought bad things happened to mean and unfriendly people. It was the most terrifying and distressing time of my life (except the time I got dragged out to sea into huge waves, with no board and got rescued, that was pretty shit too). I now get nightmares about pain and am half convinced/paranoid that I'm going to die in my sleep!

But it was my Mum and my team mates that got me through it. Now, as the latest medication begins to kick in and I realise I can say goodbye to the racing season, I can look back with clarity and know that ultimately I'm still one of the lucky ones. Every week my team mates would come and visit me, and every day they asked how I was doing. It gets pretty annoying when you speak to someone and all they do is moan about how ill they are, but they still asked everyday, and gave me the confidence I needed to talk about it and moan about it everyday. They explored solutions and gave me sympathy, and didn't stop asking.

And I still asked about them, and whenever I had a good day I'd go watch them race, or even train! My Mum said something cringey, she said "at least you can be involved." I thought that was crap. But it's totally true. I watched and supported and talked to them, and have been proud of them. With the Tour Series upon us I have become Pit-Girl (which is hilarious, as I'm super scatty and can't fix a bike) and it has allowed me to be part of everything that's going on. I love cycling, specifically I love women's cycling, but whatever the hobby is, I reckon the people who can stay involved in some way or other, and the people with good friends, are the people that can stay the happiest during shit times.

So go get a hobby before it's too late!! haha

injuries and improvement

sitting here with an ice pack on my grotesquely swollen knee i'm thinking seriously about my goals this year and the best way to axhieve it.
i'm focusing on track and downhill. some people have suggested thats a bizarre combination, but to someone like me, with an annoyingly fast moving brain that never chills out, it makes perfect sense. cycling for me is not a chance to be left with my thoughts whilst working out my body. in fact, being left with my thoughts pisses me off, i think about all the things i wanna do and suddenly the frustration and boredom of being miles away from home and unable to get on with it makes me cross, as anyone who has ever been on a long ride with me can confirm! my bike is a tool to distract me, i want to only be able to think about the task at hand, i love the repetition of practicing stuff, i love relying only on my instincts and i love the mind games of a race. track and dh are the perfect choices.

my goals- track is fairly simple, i have nothing to prove, i want to do the team sprint nationals in oct and not embarrass myself. the thrice-weekly sessions at herne hill with my friends should allow for that, without much extra thought. but dh, thats a different matter.

i am soo honoured to be sponsored a bike from mongoose this season. the only other mongoose rider in the uk is the almighty hailed chris akrigg, so i feel rather awed. i had to pass the test though, mongoose want to sponsor cool riders, that bit was ok, so long as you dont get to know me too well i'm pretty cool! then my ride at the red bull mini drome impressed the right guy, and then i had to promise results. and that's the problem!! i've done 3 local dh races, have beaten 6 girls and been beaten by one. i looked at the girl who beat me on facebook, her complete saturation of photos of her doing freeriding stuff gave me confidence. i was only a second. 5 off her.
but really, i know this doesnt mean much (not that im suggesting facebook lies) but i have no idea how good i'm going to be, all i know is that i WANT to be good! i've finally ot the proper equipment, now all i need is experience. i was sensible and told the sponsors that i might do one of the national round near the end, but this season is for me to get good, to learn, to improve.

however, business is taking off, ana nichoola now has a number of stockists, i have a couple of amazing, technical manufacturers, i'm sponsoring riders and pushing the brand. i want the best garments on the market, i want to be stocked by every cool shop in the uk, and all that testing and researching takes time. this leaves me less time to get good.

so the goal is to improve massively with every ride i go on. no staying at a level, and definitely no going backwards. but that leads to injuries. 3 weeks and 3 injuries, last week was a minor gouge to my shin, but it may leave a scar and my looks are important to me too!!

todays injury- i was practicing a gap jump. they come up a lot in dh, and mostly,  at least at the races ive been to, the girls take the chicken run. if i can confidently get mis sized gaps nailed i'll be at a quick advantage. after 5 attempts on a small gap, that was rollable if you didnt want to get air, the ever supportive ed offered to lie underneath and film me. i have NEVER EVER been so flattered by a proposition from a guy!!

the thought process- i dont want to land on his lovely face. i mustnt press my brakes. i wont cover them! wait! i gotta cover them to keep in control of my landing. ok covered. woah! were you about to press them there anna? you were weren't you! it ok, im in the air, i'll quickly look down and check i've missed his face. SHIT, FUCK, CRAP THAT HURTS!!!

i'm noisy when i hurt, no dignity, just howling!

if ed was ugly i probably wouldnt have crashed.

i had a mule bar gel for medicine to get me back to the car.

now here i am, happy to have cleared a nice little gap, with video evidence. but with my weeks riding plans scuppered. the swelling is very bad, i know because of louise that its not broken, but i still cant walk. i have a perfect circle impression of my brake lever screw in my knee. it makes me question the most efficient way to fast, freeride improvement.....

it makes me sad because i want to be good and i wanna ride this week.