Don't Sniff Glitter before Starting a Race

This season I am hoping to do a good and proper race season in gravity enduro. As such I have been riding at least twice a week, running and eating well. I went on a downhill training holiday and am concentrating on the balance between pushing my speed and not crashing, saving my top-end concentration levels for race day. I know crashes come out of nowhere,  but I think there is a level of control a person can have, where, unless something totally unexpected happens, you know you are unlikely to crash. Crashing can mean injuries, and I don't want that to get in the way of racing before I have even started yet.

I have the best bike that I can imagine (Cannondale Jekyll), I truly feel so at home on it and I know it will give me the best advantage possible...

With one week until my first race (French national series, Blausac, Alpes) I have the intention of fitting in some sprint training (I've done none of that yet) and one or two fast, downhilly sessions. I will then feel ready.

But there is one thing letting me down.

My personality.

I am sat writing this from a train station where I am killing an hour, after missing my train by one minute. The plan is to meet some mates in Dorking, and now they are doing a detour to meet me elsewhere and I have to leave my excess stuff, including my tablet, hidden in some bushes. The problem with me is that I have no sense of urgency and no interest in or attachment to possessions. I also get really caught up in the moment. The things that are going to lose me races is turning up on the wrong day, having a hangover, forgetting my shoes, not knowing the race format, not checking my bike, not bringing food/water with me, trying to save a dying bird,  finding something interesting in my bag that I simply need to play with right now. All of these things have cost me races in the past, and I show no sign of improving.

For those of you who are not chaotic hippies, it is impossible to understand that it for me it seems to be impossible to simply pack my bag the night before, read the race schedule the week before and say no if someone invites you out for a drink. Although I have pissed myself off before I have never felt upset for long, because something else good and fun always happens in place of the bad thing, you know, like getting moved to first class because I lost my train ticket or something. The adventure,  of which my bike was the tool for, is as relevant as the race. The people I meet, the places I see and the fun that is had.

But this season is different. I WANT to do well. I have trained, got fit, got the bike. It will be a waste if I miss out on a result becuase I was seeded last because a friend dared me to sniff the glitter from the glitter pot I found in my pocket and I couldn't see for five minutes as it came back out through my eyeballs. The story, the giggles, they wont be worth doing badly for.

 I dont know how I am going to do, but I am pretty confident I should be up to elite level pretty soon and want to feel proud to be able to race hard and hold my own. But I dont know how to change who I am.

If anyone wants to give me a hypnosis treatment to focus my mind before the season, I am open to it. I dont wanna screw-up my opportunities. Racers are cool, results are cool....and this season I want a slice of the Cool Pie.