But it was my Mum and my team mates that got me through it. Now, as the latest medication begins to kick in and I realise I can say goodbye to the racing season, I can look back with clarity and know that ultimately I'm still one of the lucky ones. Every week my team mates would come and visit me, and every day they asked how I was doing. It gets pretty annoying when you speak to someone and all they do is moan about how ill they are, but they still asked everyday, and gave me the confidence I needed to talk about it and moan about it everyday. They explored solutions and gave me sympathy, and didn't stop asking.
And I still asked about them, and whenever I had a good day I'd go watch them race, or even train! My Mum said something cringey, she said "at least you can be involved." I thought that was crap. But it's totally true. I watched and supported and talked to them, and have been proud of them. With the Tour Series upon us I have become Pit-Girl (which is hilarious, as I'm super scatty and can't fix a bike) and it has allowed me to be part of everything that's going on. I love cycling, specifically I love women's cycling, but whatever the hobby is, I reckon the people who can stay involved in some way or other, and the people with good friends, are the people that can stay the happiest during shit times.
